


brave face, talk so lightly (hide the truth)

by the9muses



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Skye | Daisy Johnson, F/M, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Mentions of Daisy/Lincoln, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, Unrequited Love, angst with a vaguely hopeful ending, happy birthday may!!!, i feel kind of bad about this, mentions of Daisy/Daniel, unrequited Skye | Daisy Johnson/Jemma Simmons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28776660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the9muses/pseuds/the9muses
Summary: Daisy Johnson knows two things.The first is that she is completely, irrevocably in love with Jemma Simmons.The second is that Jemma Simmons is completely, irrevocably in love with Leo Fitz.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	brave face, talk so lightly (hide the truth)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MayBeBrilliant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayBeBrilliant/gifts).



> Happy birthday May! It's been an absolute pleasure to get to know you over the past little while. I hope you have an absolutely lovely birthday! 
> 
> and thanks to the lovely [would-die-for-fitzsimmons](https://would-die-for-fitzsimmons.tumblr.com/) for betaing!

The first time Daisy Johnson falls in love she is thirteen and it means nothing. It could never mean anything, she is never in the same place long enough and she is still barely a teenager and it will never amount to anything. 

But she still falls.

And there is no one to catch her, so she shatters on the pavement. 

(it is then she learns just how dangerous love can be)

The second time she falls in love, she is sixteen and it is wrong. 

The nuns at St. Agnes had drilled that into her a long time ago.

It is wrong. 

But Lydia is beautiful and every time she glances Daisy’s way her heart flutters and she can’t remember her own name. She’s tough and pretty and perfect and Daisy has never met anyone like her.

And it is  _ wrong. _

So Daisy leaves. She leaves and she doesn’t go back. 

She can’t. 

(if she stays, her world will shatter and she is not ready for that) 

When she is eighteen, she finds a word.

Bisexual.

It fits.

It takes getting used to, but it fits.

It fits perfectly.

  
  


The third time she falls in love it is so right and it is over too quickly.

Lincoln is there and he’s hers and she loves him and then he is gone and she is so, so alone. 

She loved him. 

She destroyed him.

It is her fault he is dead.

It’s always her fault. 

The fourth time that Daisy Johnson falls in love it means everything.

Jemma is brilliant and beautiful and Daisy’ll admit she’s been harboring a tiny crush for a little while and then the LMDs attack and somehow they find each other.

They’re both covered in blood and sweat and they are terrified and yet  _ they have each other, they’re not alone _ , and so they cling to each other as tightly as they can.

When they pull apart there’s a steely glint in Jemma’s eyes shining through the terror and it is in that precise moment that Daisy crosses the line between having a harmless crush on her best friend and being completely, irrevocably in love with her best friend. 

Daisy does not notice this change.

Because she can’t be in love with Jemma.  __

She isn’t and she never can be. 

(she is and she always will be)

When Daisy finally realizes she is in love it is far too late. 

Jemma looks beautiful. 

She’s practically glowing, the white dress giving her an angelic shine, her smile positively radiant.

She is so happy.

Daisy is happy.

She really is.

And it is almost possible to ignore the feelings churning beneath that happiness.

Right now it is enough to just be happy for Jemma.

Tomorrow it won’t be.

Today it is. 

(later she will sit on her bed and realize and she will cry until she has no tears left and she will pick herself up and put on a smile and lie and congratulate the happy couple and try to pretend nothing has changed)

Everything changes.

Coulson dies.

Fitz dies.

Jemma shatters. 

And Daisy is left to pick up her pieces. 

She is left to watch as her best friend grieves, unable to do anything to help.

She is left to watch as the woman she loves grieves the man that  _ she  _ loves.

She is left to grieve Fitz quietly and grieve the man who became her father and grieve for Jemma who is barely holding on, nothing like she was before.

And it would shatter her, too, if she didn’t have to be whole for Jemma. 

So she is Jemma’s rock, and Jemma cries on her shoulder and sleeps in her bed at night and confides in her that  _ she might have a plan to bring Fitz back  _ and she pretends that it isn’t torture because Jemma needs her and that is more important than anything she will ever feel. 

So Daisy does what she can. 

When Jemma tells her about her plan, Daisy immediately volunteers to go with her. 

When they’re looking for Fitz, Daisy is almost able to forget. While they search the galaxy, she can almost pretend that they are just two best friends trying to find a missing person. 

Of course, almost isn’t enough.

Almost means she cries sometimes, at night, when Jemma can’t hear.

Almost means she sometimes makes eye contact with Jemma and can’t breathe.

Almost means sometimes she feels like she’s going to drown underneath this sea of longing. 

Almost means she isn’t ok, and almost means she could be. 

They find Fitz and it all goes to hell so quickly.

The ease with which Jemma gives herself up is terrifying.

Something inside Daisy wonders if Jemma would have done the same thing for her. 

She knows it’s pointless to wonder like that.

It’s only going to bring her pain.

That’s the only thing loving Jemma has ever brought her: pain and heartbreak.

So then why can’t she stop?

  
  


The fifth time Daisy falls in love, it should be right. 

Daniel is a good guy. He’s sweet and steady and he’s a perfect distraction from the fact that Daisy is hopelessly in love with her best friend. 

And she falls for him, she does. 

But she’ll never love him enough.

He loves her more than she will ever love him.

And so she distances herself, something she’s so talented at doing. 

He takes the hint eventually, after so many one-sided conversations and silence that come close to changing Daisy’s mind. 

(the look on his face while she breaks his heart is almost too much for her to bear)

In the year between their first virtual check-in and the second, something changes

And when Daisy sees Jemma again, it’s easier.

She watches as Jemma smiles and holds onto Fitz, watches their happiness.

And they  _ deserve _ to be happy. Jemma deserves the world.

(her world is made of two people, and Daisy isn’t one of them)

(she’s ok with this)

(she thinks)

(she’ll be ok) 

(eventually) 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading :)
> 
> title is from Sick of Losing Soulmates by dodie


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